Recently, my friend Kristen invited several friends to her house for a “spa-day of blessings and relaxation.” She provided us with a fantastic quiche I hope to get the recipe for. I am not a lemon cake fan, but had seconds of the most delicious lemon cake I ever tasted. The pudding filling and real whipped cream topping made it rich and amazing. And berry infused teas. Wow!
She then spoiled us even more by sharing with us her lavishing, natural and homemade beauty products. We had facials and foot baths. We used heavenly smelling hand soaps, moisturizers and scrubs. To top off the event, she gave each of us homemade bath fizzles to take home. She told us several times that the reason she was doing this was to work on her friendships because of how easy it is to get so caught up with life that we let our friendships drift.
Boy, was I impressed! It was truly the royal treatment. What an honor! Hats off to you Kristen! You are one talented lady and pulled off a fantastic event. The best part was that all that kindness sincerely came from deep within Kristen’s heart.
I really admire Kristen’s efforts to prioritize her relationships. It is true that in this day and age, we are so busy doing things that we put the real important things of life on the back burner. People and relationships. I cannot count the times I’ve run into a friend I haven’t seen in years. We exchange phone numbers and both promise to get together soon. Before we know it, life gets in the way of good intentions and time flies by. The days become weeks, that turn into months, that soon grow into years.
Of all people, I am the very least qualified to counsel anyone on relationships as I have struggled with them all my life. I wonder if I have some type of relationship impediment. I felt lead to do this post anyway. I can freely make these recommendations as they don’t come from me, they come from the Bible.
Here are some tips of the Biblical dos and don’ts of relationships.
What Doesn’t a friendship in progress look like? A friendship in progress doesn’t contain selfishness, greediness, envy, or spite.
- Don’t behave in a prideful manner. Tuck away that pride, it will lead you astray.
- Don’t assume you know what is going on in another person’s mind or life.
- Don’t judge what you see in others because you may be totally wrong.
- Don’t become vindictive or try to get even when others antagonize you.
- Don’t be overly sensitive, or thin-skinned.
- Don’t force your own agenda on someone.
- Don’t be a sore loser.
What Does a friendship in progress look like? It looks like kindness, generosity, forgiveness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
- Extend love to others by extending patience to them.
- Become uplifting or offer encouragement to those who are down.
- Ask God for a nature of generosity and a spirit of kindness.
- Use your God given gifts and talents to bless others. (like Kristen did)
- Pray for and bless those who persecute you, for by so blessing them you will also be blessed.
- Live in peace as long as it depend on you.
- Love out of pure motives.
- Always direct people with purpose and practicality towards good things.
- Dare to promote others above yourself.
- Defuse bad situations by returning kindness and blessings.
- Trust God to work on other people’s hearts and to help you settle issues.
Jesus was an excellent example of love and friendship while he walked this earth. Though he could have rubbed shoulders with royalty and the elite, he humbled himself and concentrated on people. He spent time with those who were unimpressive. The hurting, the lowly, the ones most people shunned. The losers.
Sometimes, people have been hurt so much, they act out of that invisible pain and unwittingly hurt us. We don’t understand their behavior because we can’t see their broken heart or spirit, we only see their actions and judge by that. Take the time to find out how you can help someone who lashes back at you. You may end up with a new friend.
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not. Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. …
1st Peter 3:9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.
This post was inspired by a sermon our pastor Kurt preached this past Sunday from Romans 12. The flower picture is of a picture on one of my walls.
By ~ Elizabeth Yalian ©2013