Category Archives: Single Parent Struggles

April 5, 2014 · 11:12 am

A Spoonful of Sugar

In the movie “Mary Poppins,”  Mary, the governess in charge of two children, tells them through a very catchy song that “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in a most delightful way.” Mary is referring to the nasty tasting medicine, probably cod-liver oil, they are about to take that has been magically sweetened.

But in my opinion, the term “a spoonful of sugar” can apply to anyone doing an act of kindness for a struggling person.

Sometimes, all it takes to make someone’s day is an effortless or generous act of kindness. For some, it can be life altering like it was for a lady named Andrea, as she wrote in her blog about a stranger, a woman who paid her grocery bill of $17.38 when she had no money to pay, and the EBT machine was not working. Andrea, mother of five, and her husband had been unemployed for months, and had at one time even been homeless.

I am especially tender towards homeless people as I am now almost finished revising my fictional memoir of a homeless man named Nick, in the book called Black Coat with a Silver Lining.

Continue reading →

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February 25, 2014 · 5:48 pm

When the Church Lets You Down

“Are you withholding sex from your marriage?  A man needs to have sex every 72 hours, and if you are not available that could be one of the reasons why your marriage is having such problems.”

I sat in the chair with my mouth dropped open to this pastor’s counseling words, and left the office more dismayed than when I entered it. I could not believe his preposterous statement. We had been attending the small church for over a year and it had taken me some time to get comfortable enough to go to the pastor for help. The pastor agreed to “counsel us” but after I left his office, I felt very little hope.

I had unwittingly signed up for an abusive marriage; the problems began almost immediately after the wedding. Though there was never any physical abuse, the verbal and emotional blows to me as a person were equally devastating, except unlike physical abuse; the wounding left deep scarring that seldom healed.

My expressions of feelings of despair and heartache were ignored and easily dismissed with.

“Hey, I’m perfectly happy. You’re the one with the problem.”  Another time he said.  “I don’t know what your problem is, I don’t beat you.”  He did emotionally!

Of course he was happy.  He was the one doing the lying, cheating, drinking, gambling, manipulating, controlling, criticizing, partying, ignoring, avoiding, abusing and oppressing. Continue reading →

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February 5, 2014 · 3:05 pm

Are We So Different From the Children of Israel?

In Exodus, God has shown the children of Israel that not only He’s there with them, but that He is a Mighty God. Because of Pharaoh’s rebellion, He has steadily pummeled Egypt with unbelievably supernatural plagues. Here are a few: all water is turned into blood, their homes and land are obscenely overrun with frogs, locusts devour their crops, boils afflict them, and finally the death of their first born sons.
Throughout the ten supernatural plagues that ravage Egypt, the children of Israel go untouched. And though some of Pharaoh’s magicians duplicate the first few plagues, they cannot remove them or duplicate the rest.
If all of their water is turned to blood and the place is overrun by frogs, why on earth would the magicians cause more grief upon themselves by adding to the problem?  Hmmm. Just curious. Continue reading →

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November 12, 2013 · 1:49 pm

God Also Uses The Phone

imageThe article below was posted on BookLovers1 blog. It is a phenomenal article.  When I read it, it immediately brought to mind my own similar story.

A Call From God

One Saturday night, a pastor was working late and decided to call his wife before he left for home.  It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn’t answer the phone.  The pastor let it ring many times.  He thought it was odd that she didn’t answer but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes.  When he tried again, she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn’t answered before, and she said that it hadn’t rung at their house.  They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he’d used that Saturday night.  The man that he spoke with  wanted to know why he’d called on Saturday night.  The pastor couldn’t figure out what the man was talking about. Continue reading →

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Child Abuse and Neglect, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Hope, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Marriage and Relationships, Single Parent Struggles

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November 2, 2013 · 12:09 am

Be A Mentor

Do you know a young or new believer in need of a mentor?  When I was a new believer I was in desperate need of one.  What I really needed was a life coach to make up for all the life guidance I never received growing up, but would have greatly benefited from perching under the wings of a woman with a strong faith.  Sometimes, I terribly needed someone to cry with.

I needed a persistent someone who would have sought me out.  I probably didn’t believe I needed her then—but trust me— I was desperate for her. With perseverance, I believe I would have welcomed her.  I didn’t need a critical and judgmental someone, or someone to point out all my “sins;” for there were many.

I needed a loving, dedicated, graceful, patient someone.  I have read countless stories of people who had a mentor just like that.

When I read these stories I wonder where the mentor I urgently needed had been? Continue reading →

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October 18, 2013 · 10:38 am

CAUTION: You Are Being Watched

image

You are being watched.

REALLY.

Every day, you are being watched.

I don’t mean Big Brother, Uncle Sam, or the thousands of cameras that are popping up all over our cities.  I am not referring to God, though indeed, He does watch us. Continue reading →

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October 11, 2013 · 9:50 pm

Mom Without a Red Cape

For as the heavens are high above the earth,
 So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
 As far as the east is from the west,
 So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
  As a father pities his children,
 So the Lord pities those who fear Him.
  For He knows our frame;
 He remembers that we are dust.

                                                                      Psalm 103: 11-14

I sat in the living room, my eyes glued on the clock, with tears streaming down my face.  My fifteen year old heart had been broken by a super cute boy named Joe.  I had been stood-up for the first time.  Joe had not called or shown up for our date.  This happened during the seventies when cell phones and text messages had not been yet dreamed up.

“What are you crying about?”  my mom said.

“Joe did not show up or call.  He was supposed to be here at 7:00 and it is now way past 7:30!”  I said, tears gushing.

“Pshhh! “ she smirked, “You think that is heartbreak—wait till you get older and find out what heartbreak really feels like.”  She walked off to her bedroom. Continue reading →

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August 31, 2013 · 1:29 am

Shine on!

imageWhen we look at the bright glistening ball in the sky at night, we forget that the moon is a huge hunk of grey rock that does not have a light of its own.  Its silvery glow comes from the sun’s brilliant rays reaching the face of the moon which then reflect off, giving us a nightlight in the sky.

There are some nights that the moon brightens up the whole landscape around us.  It is especially spectacular when there is snow on the ground.

Sometimes we only see a quarter-moon, a half-moon, a three-quarter moon, or that sliver some call God’s finger nail. Continue reading →

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August 20, 2013 · 12:03 am

Caught-Up with the Urgent?

“It all seems ultra-important at the moment—but later we realize much was done at the extent of cultivating deeper and more meaningful relationships with those we love most.  Being held hostage by the tyranny of the urgent is not how we were meant to live.”                                Charles R. Swindoll.

Guilty?

I sure am.

The years I struggled as a single mom I was under an insurmountable amount of stress.  It wasn’t just child support or family support that I lacked, I was also stuck with huge amounts of debt I didn’t create.  I tried to make the best of things, but I was often overwhelmed, exhausted, and grumpy.

Unwittingly, I placed more importance on finding a home for my family than the treasured place my kids held in my heart. It wasn’t that I didn’t love them.

It was for them that I sacrificed! Continue reading →

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August 13, 2013 · 12:49 am

What If Your Troubles Are Hidden Blessings

imageI found a beautiful song that helps everything make so much sense.  It is called “Blessings”  The music is absolutely lovely, but the words are priceless and speak miles and miles of wisdom.  I hope you get to listen to this song and that it will bless you as much as if has blessed me!  This person who wrote the lyrics, Laura Story, she gets it!  She was there. Her dream marriage came under fire as she and her husband battled for his health.*

As for me, I spent years angry at God for all the heartache and physical pain in my life. I felt cursed and I blamed Him for it.

In Matthew 17:20   Jesus said, “ I tell you, if you have faith as small as a tiny mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

This verse greatly frustrated me because I know Jesus doesn’t lie.

I had faith the size of coconuts,  yet the mountains weren’t moving.

And, everything–even ordinary things, just seemed impossible! Continue reading →

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