Chronic pain is the pits! I say this because for over thirty years I have lived with it.
I have back pain from an on the job injury, and neck pain from too many rear-ender whiplashes. The neck injury causes my neck to sometimes feel like I have a vice-grip on it for hours on end or like I have an icepick stuck into my skull near the atlas. I get frequent headaches and at times debilitating migraines that not only rob my days, but take me at least one day to recover from afterwards.
Eight years ago, due to unfortunate circumstances, the back pain became much worse. Since then, my life has been measured, as chronic pain dictates my days.
For example: I can only stand for a very short period of time. Just the act of prolonged standing causes my back to throb. Though walking actually soothes my back.
I banged on the locked door screaming in horror, begging my mom to let me back in. My grandmother pleaded with her to open it. The neighborhood kids laughed and shrieked,
”Look! She’s naked!”
I tried to hide behind my grandmother. My mom opened the door, but blocked the entrance.
“Oh, no, you stand out where everyone could see you.” I rarely disobeyed her, this time I didn’t move.
“Don’t you dare hide. Stand out here or I will give you an even bigger beating!”
“She is just a child. Don’t do this. Let her back in the house,” my grandmother interceded.
“No! She needs to feel the shame I felt today when that black b***h humiliated me! How does it feel to be ashamed? Maybe you won’t embarrass me anymore!” Continue reading
So often we believe we are ready, we have had enough teaching, yet look at David, he needed to go through years of serious, life threatening harassment from Saul before he was ready in God’s eyes. Joseph is another excellent example. Interesting enough, these men tragically suffered through tormenting persecution they didn’t deserve. Often, I feel I have been tragically tormented and persecuted, then I am reminded of these men and God’s full purpose for them. God called that man hiding in caves and running for his life, David, ” A man after His own heart!” God used the frightened boy thrown in a well by his brothers then sold as a slave, Joseph, to save His very people, His most beloved nation! David’s psalms clearly tell of his anguish and despair. Had we been flies 0n Joseph’s walls, (whether well wall or prison wall) I am sure we would have heard similar anguish, but neither of these men lost faith! We must not lose faith, either!
By ~ Elizabeth Yalian 2013 ©http://hiseyeisonthissparrow.com.