Off and on I have shared with you a few of the hardships I have experienced the last 3 years.
The death of my son. Then immediately after his death I needed more emotional support than ever, but instead was further alienated and impacted by terrible family drama, followed by the estrangement of a precious family member. Shortly after that I experienced an ankle injury that took 8 months to fully heal. I thought I was out of the woods once my ankle healed, but no. Sitting around waiting for my ankle to heal led to my back atrophying and further caused issues with a previously existing back injury, which then led to over six months of sciatica (also referred to as psychotica because of its ability to drive a reasonable person to utter insanity).
After some time I could commiserate with Job’s predicament.
Throughout the hard times I asked, begged, and sometimes in frustration demanded healing and relief. I cried buckets of tears. I wanted, needed, an escape from the agony and the heartache. I wanted a speedy recovery, a prompt delivery, anything, to get me past the immediate pain. Continue reading
Life is just like this sometimes. Our path goes smoothly for a while then suddenly there is a locked gate ahead looming large before us, a blockage in our path that won’t allow us to pass without stepping way out of our comfort zone and making some sort of sacrifice. In life we can’t exactly go back to what life was before we arrived at the locked gate; we have three choices. We either give up, or sit by the locked gate and hope someone with the key will show up soon, or we must get uncomfortable, sweaty, messy, and possibly wet. We must get out of our cozy place and get to a place where things are out of sync with our earthly comfort and understanding to get around the locked gate. Continue reading
When I was a teen I was very curious about love as it was a foreign concept in my home.
At home, the word, meaning, or idea was never ever discussed… far from it. Life there was a string of harsh criticism and heartache.
In my mid-teens I became enamored with the newspaper comic strip called “Love Is.” I carefully cut out each little square and taped it inside my bedroom closet door along with the rest of my collection of Love Is comic strips trying to make sense of what love really meant. I gazed longingly at the little figures; their messages of love seemed so ideal.
I wanted their harmonious, altruistic, and thoughtful ways to be part of my life also.
I genuinely thought these little people represented the true example of love and relationship, and that anything else proved to be lack of love, something to run from. Continue reading
You created me out of love. Whether I’m young and beautiful, or older and worn, you love me just the same!
I was just yesterday talking to a friend. We were discussing a study she was doing and how she suddenly realized that we all wear masks. We try to please others by becoming who and what we think they want us to be. I agreed there is much truth in that. As a former people pleaser, I aimed to please those close to me, often at my expense. Continue reading
I learned something last night. I am taking a self-help class on a book called Safe People. A profound book on relationships that’s backed by Scripture. We discussed relational peeves in our group. I shared two experiences.
“Hi, I’m at the store and want to buy this plaque really, really bad. I want you to talk me out of it,” I phoned my husband.
“What? Well, what does it say?”
“It is shaped like a dog biscuit and it says, ‘The more people I meet, the more I like my DOG.'”
He laughed. “That’s a good one. Why do you want me to talk you out of it?”
“Because that’s exactly how I feel right now, but don’t think we need the plaque. So talk me out of it. Juts say something like, Honey; we don’t need one more plaque.”
Recently, I was with a good-sized group of ladies. As people talked about their heart-wounds it made me realize that extreme pain and anguish are everywhere. One can drive down any street past rows of houses, and believe it- it’s a sure thing that just about every house is inhabited by at least one or two deeply wounded souls. Continue reading