Growing Pains

You know that feeling of resistance we naturally get when we are required to step outside our zone of comfort, to push further, strive harder and move past stagnation?

Much like when the momma bird pushes her young to the edge of the nest.  What is that youngling thinking?

“Momma’s off her rocker!”

“She’s trying to kill me!”

“How could she do this to me?”

That little one, paralyzed by fear, becomes frozen as momma gives the final shove.

Down, down it goes until finally it gets this crazy notion to flap its wings… flap, flap, flap…

Flap, flap, flap, flap…

Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. Whoosh========

And off it goes, lifting in the air, gliding in the sky, finding its full potential.

God wouldn’t do that us, would He?

Abraham was feeling pretty comfy until God asked the unthinkable.

“Take the young boy and offer him as a sacrifice.”

“Um, my boy a sacrifice, Lord?”

“Yep, a sacrifice.”

“Okay, Lord, You must be up to something.”  Now that’s faith!

“Moses, you are going to visit your adoptive grandpa, the Pharaoh of Egypt.”

“The one whose soldier I killed?”

‘Yeah him, and you are going to take My people away from him.  Got it?’

“Bbbbut, Lord, I sttttuttter. What do I say?”

“Leave it to Me, Moses. You do your part.”

David was a young shepherd, minding his business on the pasture. He wrote songs and played his harp those peacefully, starry nights, until…

“David, you will be My chosen king of Israel.”

“Sweet. I’m just a teenager, but I’ll be Israel’s next king! Cool!”

But, God had a fit-for-a-king 13 year crash course in mind for David.

Oh yeah, God would do that, and has. God wants us to grow to our full potential. It’s God’s version of tough love.

Someone once said, “God is more interested in our character than our comfort.”

According to Erwin McManus, “The process of becoming the person God wants us to become usually doesn’t come from success, success, success.

It’s loss, success, failure, success, heartbreak, success, disappointment, success.”

I must be especially hard-headed because in my case, my life equals the last sentence above minus a few successes.

After my nightmarish divorce situation, I scaled my lifestyle down a few notches and began living the American version of Christianity.

Almost anything goes, little commitment to God.

Then I met my second husband. I thought I finally stepped into the sweet zone of life with my attractive, kind, thoughtful, smart, soft-spoken and generous husband.  But instead, I stepped into a high-speed blender.

Something happened the day after our wedding.  His not so kind or thoughtful, angry double took over once his teenage sons decided to work overtime to destroy our marriage so they could keep daddy to themselves.

He couldn’t see what was going on because his daddy-hat was pulled way down over his eyes and ears.   Then my relationship with my kids was on the battle ground as my ex went on a charge of revenge.  See more here.

Such heavy stress brought on an instant chronic back pain that kept me bedbound the whole summer.  My husband’s skepticism over my sudden back pain and his cruel words, sliced through my soul like a sharpened machete.

Fast forward several years of anguish and insanity.

God took everything from me till I had nothing. Nothing that mattered. I barely had myself. My marriage got so bad; I wanted to die. Literally!  Misery would have been kind compared to my existence.  I wondered if God kept me alive and suffering just for kicks.

God was tired of my wishy-washy relationship with Him; and He was tired of the spiritual baby bottle hanging out of my mouth. It was time for some major life-changing growth.  The tough lessons began.

God drew a line on the sand that said.  “Choose you this day whom you will serve.”  Those of you who have been there know exactly what I mean.

I was that bird, with my toes on the edge of the nest. Paralyzed.

It was a long drop down.

“God, You will have to push me out because I am too frozen to do anything on my own.”

The heat was turned up on my rapidly dissolving marriage. WAY UP.  God’s heel was against my back as I looked down from that nest.

For sanity’s sake I desperately wanted out the marriage.  I was willing give up whatever I had left and walk away, that’s how much pain I was in. But I had nowhere to go.

My husband wanted our marriage. He was willing to make things work this time.  He was truly sorry, he was a changed man. Things would be different now, he said.

For me it was Déjà vu. Been there, suffered that! Thank you very much!

But I knew deep inside, if I dared to walk away, I would be plagued with conviction and I might get myself in a much worse scenario.  As messed up as everything was, I felt it inside that leaving would be a big mistake.

There were some things in life I needed a little assistance learning.  A good 2X4 clunk over the head from God finally sank it in.

“If I am not where God wants me to be, I will be so miserable that life will seem impossible.”  That is what I learned.

The day I realized that was the day I jumped out of the nest and surrendered every ounce of my being to God.

I was finally out of the way.

God stepped in.  My husband began a men’s Bible study that made a drastic difference. Long story short, next month, we will be celebrating our nine year anniversary.  Our marriage is great now! Unfortunately, that day is a bittersweet day as the day before our wedding anniversary, will mark the two year anniversary of my son’s fatal accident.

Any growing pains in your horizon?  The more you resist, the harder it gets!  Trust me, I know.

By ~ Elizabeth Yalian 2013 ©http://hiseyeisonthissparrow.com.