I found a beautiful song that helps everything make so much sense. It is called “Blessings” The music is absolutely lovely, but the words are priceless and speak miles and miles of wisdom. I hope you get to listen to this song and that it will bless you as much as if has blessed me! This person who wrote the lyrics, Laura Story, she gets it! She was there. Her dream marriage came under fire as she and her husband battled for his health.*
As for me, I spent years angry at God for all the heartache and physical pain in my life. I felt cursed and I blamed Him for it.
In Matthew 17:20 Jesus said, “ I tell you, if you have faith as small as a tiny mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”
This verse greatly frustrated me because I know Jesus doesn’t lie.
I had faith the size of coconuts, yet the mountains weren’t moving.
And, everything–even ordinary things, just seemed impossible!
In the first stanza of the song, Laura talks about how we pray to our God for healing and for Him to relieve us of our suffering.
Yet though God hears our yearning desires, He loves us too much to short change us of the good things He has in store for us.
I would see that many other people’s lives were somewhat serene with a few unexpected hiccups here and there.
My hiccups were the size of earthquakes, tidal waves, and hurricanes all rolled up into one.
As I have said before, my childhood began with a father who wanted me aborted and a mother who resented me. Things only went downhill from there.
It seemed that no matter how hard I tried to do things right, things nevertheless flipped sideways and slid down the highway of my life, with crisis’ coming from all angles, leaving me only enough strength to cover my eyes at the next crash.
Then came the heartache from broken relationships with my adult kids, and even worse migraines, neck aches and backaches.
In the second stanza Laura reminds us of how we pray for God’s guidance and listening ear, we wonder if He even hears us,
or if He loves as because our struggles alienate us from Him. All this time God longs for us to turn to Him and have faith.
I feel my life story can rival just about any soap opera out there!
“Gee, you should write a book.” People would say when they heard just a part of my life story!
Whenever I was around a group of friends, I’d hear them all talking about how great their lives were going. I hoped they wouldn’t ask me about my life. Deep down inside I imagined they thought,
“What is wrong with you?” or “Everything seems to happen to you!” A question I often wondered myself.
I felt like the freak because my life didn’t seem to fit anywhere else but the ugly places. Throughout my adult life, things felt no different than in The Leftovers.
Once, I heard a lady complaining that she was terribly bored with her life. It was too mundane and uneventful.
I would give anything to have that problem. Just a month of boring, uneventful and mundane. Please God!
In the third stanza Laura brings out a great point we often overlook. Could it be that through our very own tears,
disappointments, and inner wrestling; we are molded to trust Him and understand that our fulfillment can only come from Him?
For years, His silence seemed overwhelming. As time passed, I allowed God to do a work on me. I went through a time of self-discovery; and through the process of assessing losses and lamenting terrible choices made out of ignorance. I found His mercy and grace hidden in crevices, even in the midst of my chaos. His blessings were disguised as miracles here and there.
When I was a single mom struggling to make it with three kids on my own, I was especially angry at God. Yet, there were so many unmistakable miracles, that I worried about saying anything to those around me. I feared they would think I was making things up. God was good to me even when my faith in Him wavered and my spiritual walk was challenged by huge tests I failed. He has continued to show me, in mind-blowing ways, that He has been in my life every step of the way.
It has been a long journey with God interwoven in every phase of my life. I no longer feel cursed, as that is what the enemy would want. My life isn’t a piece of cake though, I often still struggle with depression and discouragement. But now I see His blessings and realize I have been BLESSED!
Does God send His blessings in the midst of the storms and trials we try to hide from? I know in my life He has.
Will you take a look at those troubles that turned out to be hidden blessings in you life and call yourself BLESSED also!
*Learn more about Laura’s courage http://www.todayschristianmusic.com/artists/laura-story/features/storytelling-laura-story-finds-blessing-in-the-story-gone-different/
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By ~ Elizabeth Yalian 2013 ©http://hiseyeisonthissparrow.com.