There’s so much I wish someone had been there to tell you when you were a small child, and in your teens. Since no one seemed to care much what went on in your life then, I decided to write to you to tell you what I would have told you at eighteen years of age. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion.
First of all, you aren’t worthless and you aren’t a failure. No. You. Are. Not.
You are lovable, you are lovely, you are loved!
Sure, you had a rougher start than most. Yes, as a child you were often alone and painfully lonely. Yes, there were a great deal of cruel words said to you, blame you didn’t warrant, and many undeserved beatings too harsh for a young child. But please, stop letting that tragedy define you. That stuff is behind you. You are an adult now, you will thrive if you understand these things.
You are not an inconvenience. You are not stupid. You are not ugly. You are not that unwanted child anymore! Really, you’re not.
You are beautiful.
You scrunch your nose and wrinkle your forehead as you read this, and think I’m wildly crazy and must be blind or something to think such a thing of you, but trust me.
You. Are. Beautiful.
I see a beauty you can’t see yet. You know what I think when I see your pictures, “If only I could look like her. “ See what I mean? You. Are. Beautiful. But you are too young to appreciate your beauty. Your radiant smile, the softness in your eyes, the gentle ways you handle your puppy, the way you feel terrible for weeks if you hurt someone’s feelings, even if by accident. The way you are kind to people when they’re not so kind to you. You are gorgeous!
The many flaws you see when you look in the mirror are not flaws at all but beauty marks from God. Beauty marks form God! And guess what? In just a short time, just after you turn 19, God will invite you into his family. I know it’s a weird thing to imagine, but trust me; it’s the best thing that will ever happen to you. I also know you will be too busy stressing over how unwanted you feel and over flaws you see in yourself to really appreciate something as huge as the God of the universe’s genuine interest in you. It will take time to settle in. I’m talking decades, girl, decades to recognize the treasure God sees in you while you see an ugly reflection in the mirror. Even before you answered His invitation, HE wanted YOU. That’s right, He wanted you, and you said yes! And all of Heaven rejoiced!
Heaven rejoiced because you are deeply loved.
I’ll warn you about a few things. Just as your childhood was excruciating, your adult life will have much pain, but for sure God will walk with you the whole way. You will make massive mistakes in your young life that will reverberate throughout your days. That gnawing hunger in your soul, the hunger you think only a man can fill? Bogus stuff from your enemy the devil. Don’t fall for that hunk-of-junk thinking. You won’t ever be filled by any man, you will remain empty and hungry until the day you turn every ounce of yourself over to God.
How do I know that? Because I’m much like you. I thought the same way and did an awful lot of stumbling around and landing flat on my face. Then one day, I grew tired of my bruised face. My face hurt, you know? I finally got it then, and surrendered every millimeter of myself: heart, soul, mind, and body; everything to Jesus. It was then that I was FINALLY satisfied with who He made me to be. I no longer hunger for those things. I only hunger for Him.
You will be hard pressed to find people to help you up when you fall, and you will fall often, but don’t let that keep you from getting up each and every time. I know you don’t think you’re strong at all, but those very things that crush your soul will build your strength. It’s kind of weird how that works. This next sentence I share with you I learned the hard way.
It’s from that very pile of ashes
that diamond dust sparkles best.
One of the things I wish you knew is that there is nothing on this planet more powerful, more wonderful, more pleasurable, more satisfying, than experiencing Jesus’ fulfilling love and getting to know Him through His word, the Bible. See, that’s where I blew it. I didn’t recognize its value until years into my life. Oh, if only I could get that message through to you. Please don’t make that mistake.
God wants to be the father you never had. I know the word father leaves a blank in your heart’s eye because your father never bothered to show up in your life, not even when you were teeny-weeny.
His loss. However, there is one critical thing I want you to get out of your head right now.
It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Your. Father. Left. Your. Mom. You got that?
Don’t believe that lie for a minute. I know she told you that too many times to count, but your weren’t even born yet, for goodness sakes. You had absolutely not one smidgen to do with that. I hope that settles in quickly because false guilt will derail your life.
But here’s where it gets really good. God the Father is nothing like the man who fathered you. God is wonderful, He is amazing. You were meticulously designed by Him. God showed up in his place and is your true Daddy! Your Daddy! Get that through your head, you finally have someone to call Daddy! Isn’t that terrific?
You are precious, you are beautiful, you are God’s child. You’ll see once the holy light of Jesus shines deep within. If only someone would have told you sooner. Oh, if only.
I guess you are wondering how I know so much about you…
Well, it’s quite simple you see… I am you a few decades later!
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By ~ Elizabeth Yalian 2013-2014 ©http://hiseyeisonthissparrow.com. ♛