Mother’s Day, Not So Happy for Everyone

grandma adn babyMother’s Day has circled the calendar once more, and while for some it is a joyful-mom-honoring day, for others it’s another hurtful reminder of what they don’t have.

I’m told that Mother’s Day is the biggest and busiest restaurant day, but then I also heard that about Valentine’s Day so perhaps it’s a tie between the two, and one of the reasons I’m not thrilled about going out for Mother’s Day. There are the long waits, the rushed meals, and the hit-and-miss service.

So, what do Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day have in common that makes them such big days? A celebration of love. Whether celebrating for couples, family, or a mom, love is why we have such days.

One of the reasons Mother’s Day is so celebrated is because grateful kids love their mothers, appreciate them, and probably have come to understand that motherhood is the hardest job on the planet. Even harder than the president’s job. The president’s job is limited to eight years while a mother’s job goes far beyond the 18 years it takes to raise a child, her job is forever. Even after a child’s death. I know that first hand because I still consider myself the mother of the son who lives in Heaven.

Sadly, not all mothers are celebrated through hugs, phone calls, cards, and gifts; yet most moms have worked themselves weary to raise healthy, productive, upstanding citizens. Sometimes parent-adult-child relationships can be difficult; however, in spite of the difficulties, a child never stops being part of their mother’s heart.

Then there are also those for whom Mother’s Day must surely present a dagger in the heart. Those not yet moms but who want to be, and those who never got to be mothers regardless how hard they tried.

I would like to take the time to speak to those women. Though you don’t have children of your own, you can still be a maternal influence for someone in desperate need of a mom, someone who may not have a mother or someone who has a mother that doesn’t want to be a mom; and for whom Mother’s Day is difficult.

I was one of those kids. My mother remained very distant throughout my childhood and didn’t take the time to be a nurturing mom, which left a crater-size void in my heart. At a pivotal time in my life, when I was a young single mom and urgently needed temporary childcare for my newborn daughter because my babysitter up and quit, I asked–no begged–my mother to help me out until I found a permanent babysitter. I even offered to pay her, but she refused claiming it would be too much of an inconvenience for her.  Full story here.

My heart was shattered. Out of desperation, I had no one else to turn to, I talked to a former boyfriend’s mother about my plight. This woman, who was recovering from a major surgery at the time, shared a piece of her heart with me by agreeing to watch my daughter even though I hadn’t asked her to. I don’t know what I would have done or how things would have turned out had this amazing woman not stepped up in my life.

I share this story for those ladies who are not officially moms but want to be. I long to encourage you to look around, to be mindful of anyone in as desperate need for a motherly image as I was. I know, it’s not the same as having your own children, but it can bring your heart closer to motherhood. Your open heart can change someone else’s life forever.

Like it did mine.

I will always be grateful to the late Mrs. Hedley (she went to be with Jesus Dec. 2013) who, though not my biological mother, became a much needed motherly influence in my life.

Whether you’re a mother or a grandmother raising grandkids; whether you adopt, mentor, or take someone under your wing, regardless how you come about being maternally devoted, may your kindness forever return to you.

By ~ Elizabeth Yalian 2013-2015 ©

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Filed under Holidays and Special Days, Hope, Life and Relationships, Life Lessons

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