Category Archives: Inner Sruggles and Heartache

Heart Support

As I have mentioned before, my former married life was excruciatingly painful. I often felt overwhelmed and badly in need of an emotionally supportive friend at home. God sent that supportive friend in the form of a dog.

Annie and me 1997.

Annie and me 1997.

God knew what He was doing when he made dogs. Annie was the best friend a person could want. It was spring of 1986. My three children then were five and under. As an avid animal lover, I jumped at the chance to get a lapdog when I heard there was a litter of designer-puppies. Free! They turned out to be a Lhasa-apso-terrier-mix. The owner did not want to deal with selling the mixed-breed pups. For over a week I begged my then-husband to give a puppy a try until he finally conceded, but was adamant he didn’t want this dog, he wanted a Doberman.

There was only one female left by the time we got the puppy. She was blonde, very affectionate and cuddly, with a curled, shaggy tail.

The kids and I were exhilarated when we brought her home. Months before we knew of the litter, I told the kids someday I wanted a girl dog named Annie. After that, my two year old son told everyone “My doggy name Annie,” so we named this puppy Annie.

Continue reading

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Filed under Animals, Awed by His Love and Grace, Gottalaugh, Hope, In a Kids World, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Just for Fun, Seeds of Inspirations, Writing and Author Stuff

Caught-Up with the Urgent?

“It all seems ultra-important at the moment—but later we realize much was done at the extent of cultivating deeper and more meaningful relationships with those we love most.  Being held hostage by the tyranny of the urgent is not how we were meant to live.”                                Charles R. Swindoll.

Guilty?

I sure am.

The years I struggled as a single mom I was under an insurmountable amount of stress.  It wasn’t just child support or family support that I lacked, I was also stuck with huge amounts of debt I didn’t create.  I tried to make the best of things, but I was often overwhelmed, exhausted, and grumpy.

Unwittingly, I placed more importance on finding a home for my family than the treasured place my kids held in my heart. It wasn’t that I didn’t love them.

It was for them that I sacrificed! Continue reading

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Filed under Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Loss of a Child, Single Parent Struggles, Writing and Author Stuff

What If Your Troubles Are Hidden Blessings

imageI found a beautiful song that helps everything make so much sense.  It is called “Blessings”  The music is absolutely lovely, but the words are priceless and speak miles and miles of wisdom.  I hope you get to listen to this song and that it will bless you as much as if has blessed me!  This person who wrote the lyrics, Laura Story, she gets it!  She was there. Her dream marriage came under fire as she and her husband battled for his health.*

As for me, I spent years angry at God for all the heartache and physical pain in my life. I felt cursed and I blamed Him for it.

In Matthew 17:20   Jesus said, “ I tell you, if you have faith as small as a tiny mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

This verse greatly frustrated me because I know Jesus doesn’t lie.

I had faith the size of coconuts,  yet the mountains weren’t moving.

And, everything–even ordinary things, just seemed impossible! Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Hope, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Life with Chronic Pain, Poetry, Seeds of Inspirations, Single Parent Struggles, Writing and Author Stuff

God Redeems Blunders

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This small image carries an amazing amount of truth!  And it is too important not to share.

I found this image on Facebook

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Filed under Awed by His Love and Grace, Everythingelse, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Seeds of Inspirations

An Unexpected Answer to Prayer

I received this in an email from my friend Lyn Pelton.  I wanted to share this worth-reading beautiful story with you!

A Father, a Daughter – A true story by Catherine Moore

“Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!” My father yelled at me. “Can’t you do anything right?”

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn’t prepared for another battle.

“I saw the car, Dad . Please don’t yell at me when I’m driving..”

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Continue reading

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Filed under Awed by His Love and Grace, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Seeds of Inspirations

“I Just Love Them,” He said.

I sat on the couch with my legs pulled up to my chest much like a child would sit.  God was sitting next to me, with his arm around my right shoulder.  My other shoulder was tucked in the crook under his arm.  My head rested on his chest.

We sat like that together for a very long time.  I had the reasoning of an adult, but felt completely protected and cherished, as a child should feel in the arms of a loving daddy.

I wanted to stay there forever and feared breaking the moment, but I just had to ask.

“God, how can You stand it?  All the rejection, from people all around the world?”

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“Everyone doesn’t reject Me,” He said, “you didn’t.”

“But, there have been so many people throughout time.  Millions and millions!” Continue reading

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Filed under Awed by His Love and Grace, Everythingelse, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Seeds of Inspirations

He Never Promised Us A Rose Garden

I have been a prodigal.  Saved at the age of 19, but without further mentoring or Bible studies, I tried to be a follower of Christ on my own.

I continued recklessly living my life, making poor choices as I had before.  On a rebound from a hurtful breakup, I became pregnant at 22.  The responsibility of a baby, straightened my life, but I had a ways to go.

I did not want my daughter to grow up like me, never knowing what her father looked like, so I worked at keeping a relationship with her father. Apparently, I worked too hard, I became pregnant again when she was eight months old.

We got married, but deep in my heart I knew it was a mistake. I had the naïve notion everything would work out once he saw what a good wife I could be.  Immediately after our marriage, my gut feelings were confirmed.  I made a horrible mistake. Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Child Abuse and Neglect, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Life with Chronic Pain, Loss of a Child, Seeds of Inspirations, Single Parent Struggles

Things To Remember About Chronic Pain Sufferers

Chronic pain is the pits! I say this because for over thirty years I have lived with it.

I have back pain from an on the job injury, and neck pain from too many rear-ender whiplashes. The neck injury causes my neck to sometimes feel like I have a vice-grip on it for hours on end or like I have an icepick stuck into my skull near the atlas. I get frequent headaches and at times debilitating migraines that not only rob my days, but take me at least one day to recover from afterwards.

Eight years ago, due to unfortunate circumstances, the back pain became much worse. Since then, my life has been measured, as chronic pain dictates my days.

For example: I can only stand for a very short period of time. Just the act of prolonged standing causes my back to throb. Though walking actually soothes my back.

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Filed under Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life with Chronic Pain

The Leftovers

Do you remember those brutal days in school when the team captains took turns picking players for their teams?

If you were a team captain, or one of the first four kids to be picked, then never mind.  On second thought, you may want to read on to understand the rejection the rest of us felt.

But if you were one of the kids picked last, you know, the ones the team captains really don’t want to be stuck with; then my condolences.

Read on. Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, In a Kids World, Inner Sruggles and Heartache

An Important Message

It was February of 2013, when I stepped out as a novice blogger.  I was nervous to put my “stuff” out there as much of it is delicate and painful.  I feared somehow it would come back to bite me in the rear.  I took a risk and became a blogger and to date have never been sorry.  I have “met,” laughed with, shed tears with, resonated with, and admired wonderful friends I continue to cherish.  Many of them share from vulnerable places of their hearts making them even more dear to me.

This was my original post back in February.  I don’t think it got much notice with it being my first.  I am sharing it again today as I believe it has an important message at the end. There are countless, desperately hurting people, deeply needing and desiring help who fall under our radars. Continue reading

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Filed under Awed by His Love and Grace, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Seeds of Inspirations