Tag Archives: Funny

Overindulgent Slugs

The cashier scanned my groceries.  We talked about the importance of eating healthy and the extraordinary cost of the organic and natural food I was buying. She shot me a sideways glance when she scanned my extra-tall aluminum can of Coors beer.

“I plan on getting some slugs drunk!”  I said.

“Oh,” she said nodding her head, as if that was an ordinary response.

I told her about my slug problem.  She also was plagued by slugs, but never heard of the beer trick.

“I got the idea online. It’s supposed to really work.  They drink the beer and die!” I said. Continue reading

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Filed under Everydayliving, Gottalaugh, Just for Fun

My Graham Cracker Assistant

With 3 children born in 3 1/2 years, my life was busy in the 1980s.  I had no nearby family to help with childcare, so I learned to improvise.

Rachel, 5 years old, was a good natured child. Once in a while, I let her be a biggirl.  She could stay up and watch a video or we could have together-time, but only if she was quiet while the others napped.  Rachel loved to be up with Mommy.

One day, I dared myself to paint the bathroom while the kids napped.  I found a can of pretty miss-mixed paint for only a couple of dollars.  Desperate for a change, I couldn’t pass up it up.

It took me longer than I thought to paint the small bathroom walls. Of course, as Murphy’s Law would have it, Jonathan, then 1 ½, woke up much earlier than usual. I heard him fussing in his crib and decided this would be a great time to let Rachel, who’d been watching a movie, be an even bigger girl. I needed our only bathroom to be usable before Hannah woke up. Continue reading

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Filed under Awed by His Love and Grace, Everydayliving, Everythingelse, Gottalaugh, In a Kids World, Just for Fun, Life with Chronic Pain

The Bestest Mommy’s Day Gift Ever, My Children

"Hey!  Where's my boots?"

“Hey! Where’s my boots?”

When I was a new mom, my friend Karen (same Karen from Giggles and Grins at the Zoo) bought me a mug for my first Mother’s Day. The mug was white, illustrated with a stick figure mom and the caption “Bestest Mommy Ever” printed in colorful letters. It was made to look like a preschool child wrote it with crayons; some of the letters were backwards. I cherished that mug. Unfortunately, it broke years ago.

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Why Don’t People Say Something?

Last year, I was getting ready to go on a trip to Florida for Christmas, then we would swing over to Maryland to visit my daughter and toddler grandson.  I had lots to do, so I embarked on one of those fit-everything-into-one-productive-day events.

First things first, I stopped at my chiropractor’s office for an appointment and got my neck and back adjusted.  I shopped at several places and visited several banks, which meant standing at way too many check stand lines.

My very last chore for the day was Walgreens.  As I stood in line to pay for my items, the lady behind me tapped me on the shoulder. Continue reading

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ALDD – Adolescent Logic Deficit Disorder

imageHave you heard of ALDD?  It stands for Adolescent Logic Deficit Disorder.  It is a name I came up with to keep my sanity when I had no other way to explain my teenager’s complete lack of logic. Somewhere out there in a medical journal, I know there exists the scientific name for this adolescent condition.  You may even recognize your teenager in this post.

When my son was about 16 years old, he got his first vehicle.  It wasn’t much to speak of and certainly not a chick-magnet, but then since when did Jonathan need a magnet.  He came out of the womb magnetized.  The ladies at our church nursery called him, “The Flirt.” His friendly nature and dimply smile attracted many people. Continue reading

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Filed under Everydayliving, Gottalaugh, In a Kids World, Just for Fun

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

imageKayli, a petite and curious seven year old, was our first foster child. She had been with us for nearly a year. It was quite a struggle at first. But, we finally came to understand each other. I grew very fond of that little girl.

One afternoon, she watched intently while I put on lipstick as we were getting ready to leave the house. I decided to try a bolder, reddish color I seldom wore. After carefully applying it, I examined my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Hmm, not bad. I thought. Continue reading

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The Trouble With A Phone Being So Smart

imageThere is one thing for sure I can tell you about smart phones, they can make one feel…not so smart. My husband and I both needed to upgrade our phones. I had a Samsung slide key phone, his flip-phone was so old, I assumed it came to America on The Mayflower. A local Verizon dealerships ran a special. “Get a brand new Samsung Android 4G smart phone, worth hundreds of dollars, FREE with a two year contract.”

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Filed under Everydayliving, Gottalaugh

But, I’m Just A Baby!

Just A BabyOnce a month I worked in my church nursery. This particular day
we had a full nursery. The children’s ages ranged from infant to three years old.
Tiffani, a three year old, was an adorable little girl with a pixie kind of face. She was
normally very well behaved, but this Sunday she had a very hard time keeping
her hands to herself. She’d walk up to a child and swipe a toy right out of
their hands and run off or push another child and make off with their toy.
When I corrected her and asked her why she was behaving that way she’d say,
“But, I’m just a baby!” I was perplexed by her comments. I told her if she
continued to not play nicely she would have to stand in the corner, the usual
nursery discipline for this age.

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Filed under Gottalaugh, In a Kids World, Just for Fun, Writing and Author Stuff

The Time Bandit

imageI have had it with that time bandit. That sneaky varmint gets me every time.
I make my plans with very good intentions by blocking out sections of time
on my schedule. I need these blocks of time to work on my book, to work on
my blog, and to work on my quilt. That stealthy bandit is so darn
manipulative, it outwits me time and time again by sneaking bits of this and
parts of that in front of me. Continue reading

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Filed under Everydayliving

An Early Morning Prowler

imageSometime in early February, I took the dogs out at 6 am to go potty. I felt uneasy when I saw shoe prints in the fresh fallen snow. These tracks were all over the front yard. They came towards the house from one side of the yard, went around our bay window, continued around the porch and on to the other side of the house, then out to the driveway. We live out in the country, so animal tracks are a common thing, but these looked like actual human footprints. Convinced a prowler had been staking out our place and tried to peek in the window, I put the little dogs in the house and woke up hubby. Continue reading

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