Many years ago I found myself in a very dismal place in my life. After an extremely painful childhood and troubled teens, I was weary of searching for love in wrong places. I thought my life would take a turn for the best when I got married. My new husband had a large family. I hoped to finally gain the love and family I ached for my whole life.
The marriage partnership I thought I had signed up for turned out to be more of an ice-cold warden-prisoner relationship. I was the prisoner. To make matters worse, I didn’t find out that my husband was a closet alcoholic and had been secretly using cocaine until after our second child was born.
As it turned out, I gave birth to three children in three and a half years. This kept me quite busy. When my third child was born, my first child was three and a half years old and my second child was almost two. I adored my babies and often turned to them for the affection, affirmation and encouragement I was dying for inside.
I was an only child and had very few family members. Those relationships were never very warm. The loneliness and alienation I felt as a stay at home mom and at the hands of a controlling and abusive husband became unbearable. I felt helpless, hopeless and without anywhere safe to turn to. As a young and very new Christian, I had no idea I had options or that there were people out there who really did care about me. I began to beg God to somehow show me every day that He loved me in some special way. I desperately needed this to survive. Besides my children, He was all I had.
Each and every day I looked for God’s secret little messages of love. I was not disappointed.
- I found them in a lonely daisy growing in a sidewalk crack.
- I found them in the butterfly that landed on my finger one day.
- I found them in the perfect little treasure I found at a yard sale for only a quarter.
- I found them in the way my children smiled, or in their plump little hands.
- I found them in the man who gave me the dollar I was short at the grocery line.
- I found them in the rare days I woke up without a stress headache.
- I found them in the words of encouragement from a friend.
- I found them in notes and drawings from my children.
- I found them in the hummingbird that hung out by my kitchen window.
- I found them in the colorful Impatient flowers on the porch planters.
- I found them in the little peak of white snow on the distant mountains of San Diego.
- I found them on a “Smile, God Loves You” bumper sticker.
- I found them in a child’s song.
- I found them in the curious way the praying mantis moves its head from side to side.
- I found them in the funny looking mushrooms near the fence.
- I found them in the almost florescent-green new growth of spring leaves.
- I found them in the “You Are Special” flier someone stuck on my windshield.
- I found them in the Forget-Me-Nots on the side of the house.
- I found them in the antique toaster and crystal pitcher an elderly neighbor lady gave me.
- I found them in the super fat and juicy first batch of tomatoes I ever grew.
- I found them in the funny little frog that squeaked when we pet it.
- I found them in the way the light from the sun cast a prism through my window.
- I found them in an empty bird’s nest on the ground in our yard. The bird used the gold and silver tinsel off our discarded Christmas tree; the rainbow colored grass from my kids Easter basket and the bits of yarn from a craft we glued on cards at the picnic table. The mother bird decorated her home the way I decorated mine.
Each of these finds filled my heart with joy. I always made sure to thank God for my love messages from Him. Sometimes, it was nearly the end of the day and I hadn’t received a special love message from God. Just as I wondered if God skipped a day or forgot me, I found His gift in my children’s super sloppy goodnight kiss or in the silly designs they made in the bathtub bubbles.
These messages became priceless love gifts from God. I never thought a single one was small and insignificant. I found them because God loved me enough to point these out. Because He pointed these out, I looked for them daily. Most of the time I didn’t even have to look, though. God brought them to me. These daily gifts helped me to cope through years of heartache and loneliness.
I took the picture above at the Oregon coast. It is a beautiful bouquet of flowers, another love gift God gave me.
What are you missing out on that may seem insignificant but holds a special beauty or love message from God?
By ~ Elizabeth Yalian ©2013