May 23, 2014 · 8:01 pm
April was child abuse awareness month. I may be a month late, but I think any month is a good month to raise awareness.
If heinousity was a word, it would apply to child abuse as much as atrocity, and horrific do. Many times children live with such unnecessary pain and heartache, and have no idea abuse is not normal. It may take until the teen years for them to realize that what goes on at home is abuse.
Usually, abusive parents are very careful to keep their young children within their sight and control, and strictly warn the kids they are not to say anything to anyone. Ever. The children grow up burdened with a huge load not ever meant for children to carry. If they do speak up about the abuse they get ostracized by their parents for betraying the family, if not more severely beaten.
As a small child, I have only about two dozen memories of the first ten years of my life, and most of these memories are of some sort of abuse. Once, I feared my mother’s wrath so badly I had to beg my grandmother to interfere. Continue reading →
February 25, 2014 · 5:48 pm
“Are you withholding sex from your marriage? A man needs to have sex every 72 hours, and if you are not available that could be one of the reasons why your marriage is having such problems.”
I sat in the chair with my mouth dropped open to this pastor’s counseling words, and left the office more dismayed than when I entered it. I could not believe his preposterous statement. We had been attending the small church for over a year and it had taken me some time to get comfortable enough to go to the pastor for help. The pastor agreed to “counsel us” but after I left his office, I felt very little hope.
I had unwittingly signed up for an abusive marriage; the problems began almost immediately after the wedding. Though there was never any physical abuse, the verbal and emotional blows to me as a person were equally devastating, except unlike physical abuse; the wounding left deep scarring that seldom healed.
My expressions of feelings of despair and heartache were ignored and easily dismissed with.
“Hey, I’m perfectly happy. You’re the one with the problem.” Another time he said. “I don’t know what your problem is, I don’t beat you.” He did emotionally!
Of course he was happy. He was the one doing the lying, cheating, drinking, gambling, manipulating, controlling, criticizing, partying, ignoring, avoiding, abusing and oppressing. Continue reading →
Filed under Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life and Relationships, Life Lessons, Marriage and Relationships, Single Parent Struggles
Tagged as Church Disappointment, Church letting you down, Destructive Marriage, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, Feeling Alone, God's Love, God's Protection, Heartache, Irony, Life Lessons, Painful marriage, Spouse Abuse, The Unexpected, Unsafe Counseling, Verbal abuse