Category Archives: A Broken Childhood

Be A Mentor

Do you know a young or new believer in need of a mentor?  When I was a new believer I was in desperate need of one.  What I really needed was a life coach to make up for all the life guidance I never received growing up, but would have greatly benefited from perching under the wings of a woman with a strong faith.  Sometimes, I terribly needed someone to cry with.

I needed a persistent someone who would have sought me out.  I probably didn’t believe I needed her then—but trust me— I was desperate for her. With perseverance, I believe I would have welcomed her.  I didn’t need a critical and judgmental someone, or someone to point out all my “sins;” for there were many.

I needed a loving, dedicated, graceful, patient someone.  I have read countless stories of people who had a mentor just like that.

When I read these stories I wonder where the mentor I urgently needed had been? Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Child Abuse and Neglect, Everydayliving, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Hope, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Single Parent Struggles

Watch Out for Worm Infested Apples

imageI saw a most disturbing sight today while driving on a highway. A motorcyclist drove while standing up on the foot pedals of his motorcycle.  Yes, I did say he drove his motorcycle standing up.  I have never read any motorcycle driving manuals, but I am sure that would be a major no-no.

Wow, that guy is taking such a crazy risk!  Is he trying to commit suicide?  I thought.  What if the car in front of him had to make a sudden stop? I saw this motorcyclist in the same area of highway that I had to come to a sudden halt about four years ago when I hit a deer. Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Child Abuse and Neglect, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Loss of a Child, Writing and Author Stuff

What If Your Troubles Are Hidden Blessings

imageI found a beautiful song that helps everything make so much sense.  It is called “Blessings”  The music is absolutely lovely, but the words are priceless and speak miles and miles of wisdom.  I hope you get to listen to this song and that it will bless you as much as if has blessed me!  This person who wrote the lyrics, Laura Story, she gets it!  She was there. Her dream marriage came under fire as she and her husband battled for his health.*

As for me, I spent years angry at God for all the heartache and physical pain in my life. I felt cursed and I blamed Him for it.

In Matthew 17:20   Jesus said, “ I tell you, if you have faith as small as a tiny mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

This verse greatly frustrated me because I know Jesus doesn’t lie.

I had faith the size of coconuts,  yet the mountains weren’t moving.

And, everything–even ordinary things, just seemed impossible! Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Hope, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Life with Chronic Pain, Poetry, Seeds of Inspirations, Single Parent Struggles, Writing and Author Stuff

He Never Promised Us A Rose Garden

I have been a prodigal.  Saved at the age of 19, but without further mentoring or Bible studies, I tried to be a follower of Christ on my own.

I continued recklessly living my life, making poor choices as I had before.  On a rebound from a hurtful breakup, I became pregnant at 22.  The responsibility of a baby, straightened my life, but I had a ways to go.

I did not want my daughter to grow up like me, never knowing what her father looked like, so I worked at keeping a relationship with her father. Apparently, I worked too hard, I became pregnant again when she was eight months old.

We got married, but deep in my heart I knew it was a mistake. I had the naïve notion everything would work out once he saw what a good wife I could be.  Immediately after our marriage, my gut feelings were confirmed.  I made a horrible mistake. Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Child Abuse and Neglect, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Life with Chronic Pain, Loss of a Child, Seeds of Inspirations, Single Parent Struggles

The Leftovers

Do you remember those brutal days in school when the team captains took turns picking players for their teams?

If you were a team captain, or one of the first four kids to be picked, then never mind.  On second thought, you may want to read on to understand the rejection the rest of us felt.

But if you were one of the kids picked last, you know, the ones the team captains really don’t want to be stuck with; then my condolences.

Read on. Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, In a Kids World, Inner Sruggles and Heartache

Just Like Daddy

When I was a little girl, there was no money for toys. The freedoms and wealth from pre-communist days had been stripped from Cuba. Everyone became equal. Equally living in poverty, with food being rationed; and under the control of Fidel Castro. My family immediately planned on moving to the U.S.

Non-communists or gusanos (worms), were looked down on. My mom kept me from the neighborhood kids for protection, and so I wouldn’t pick up a communist attitude.

You would think an only child receives a lot of attention from family, but attention and affection were scarce in my home. I was often very lonely. I didn’t understand it then, but I longed for healthy interaction and relationships.

Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Child Abuse and Neglect, In a Kids World, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Seeds of Inspirations

Why, Oh Why All The Suffering?

I banged on the locked door screaming in horror, begging my mom to let me back in.  My grandmother pleaded with her to open it. The neighborhood kids laughed and shrieked,

”Look! She’s naked!”

I tried to hide behind my grandmother.  My mom opened the door, but blocked the entrance.

“Oh, no, you stand out where everyone could see you.”  I rarely disobeyed her, this time I didn’t move.

“Don’t you dare hide.  Stand out here or I will give you an even bigger beating!”

“She is just a child.  Don’t do this.  Let her back in the house,” my grandmother interceded.

“No!  She needs to feel the shame I felt today when that black b***h humiliated me!  How does it feel to be ashamed?  Maybe you won’t embarrass me anymore!” Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Child Abuse and Neglect, In a Kids World, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Life with Chronic Pain

Mistaken Identity

image

After years of wandering through sullen shadows,

And stretched, somber avenues of abandonment,

Of wearing masks, and living empty echoes of life,

She knew little more than to follow the crowd.

She explored unhealthy places that whispered contentment.

She believed in the hollow promises she sought within.

Singed and torn by unfriendly competition,

She longed to believe that there was something

Of value, one thing, anything, worthy inside of her.

She found no identity to call her very own.

By nineteen, she was overcome by this world.

********** Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Child Abuse and Neglect, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Life Lessons, Poetry, Seeds of Inspirations

A Tribute To The Only Father I Have Ever Known

Father’s day has always been a very painful day for me. I felt the emptiness of never having met my father while growing up. I felt an even greater loss, because he didn’t care about me at all. He walked out on my mother when she wouldn’t abort me. This year, I chose to do something different. I chose to honor the father who has always been faithfully with me, with this poem.

My bio-father wanted me aborted,

A heartbreaking fact I have had to bear.

His wishes, however, were thwarted,

By another father who surely did care.

A father with much richer, future plans,

For this embryo, so fragile and forlorn.

He guarded me with his very own hands,

Instead of allowing my flesh to be torn.

Continue reading

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Filed under A Broken Childhood, Awed by His Love and Grace, Child Abuse and Neglect, Everydayliving, Everythingelse, Following Christ Has Changed My Life, Inner Sruggles and Heartache, Poetry